Morning Briefs

Unsolicited Advice to Mittens

Mitt Romney has taken to emulating fellow Massachusetts Republican anomaly Scott Brown and now shows up at political rallies in a red pick-up. Ace at AOSHQ hypothesizes that Mitt is trying to connect with middle America, and projects that he will fail because he comes across as inauthentic. I concur with Ace.

The thing is, I don’t think Mittens is necessarily inauthentic. He’s a Mormon, I’m a Mormon, and his mannerisms are very typically… um… Mormon. Which does tend to come across as inauthentic in a culture that’s much more raw and depraved than your typical Mormon is. Also, while I am dubious that his position on abortion changed because of personal revelation and not political expedience, I did have a similar shift in opinion on abortion that makes his shift seem plausible, at least. It’s his defense of RomneyCare — which was a dry-run for ObamaCare at the state level — that rings hollow. Look, Mittens, just be honest and say you were governing in a Democrat state, that you had no choice but accept the plan presented by a veto-proof Democrat legislative majority, and that the thing just doesn’t work.

But, most of all, if I could sit down with Mittens and have him listen to me, I’d say this: Look, Mittens, you’re a rich guy, and you’ve always been a rich guy. You won’t understand middle America until you walk a mile in our shoes… which are Skechers, not Gucci. Buy a house in a town somewhere in the heartland (Battle Creek MI or Terre Haute IN). Live on the median American income for one year. Attend PTA meetings, shop at the local Wal-Mart, eat at Buffalo Wild Wings, go to high school football games. Drive an old truck and learn how to deal when you can’t get to work because of a busted alternator.

That would help you understand us and our concerns a little more. But you’re never gonna know what it means to be one of us. Bill Shatner understood that.

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